Thursday, December 21, 2006
Friday, December 08, 2006
Thursday, December 07, 2006
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeers grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.
Female reindeers retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.
Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.
We should've known...
ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
It is time to start baking for the holidays.
This is the BEST Christmas Cookie recipe EVER!
- 1 cup of water
- 1 tsp baking soda
- 1 cup of sugar
- 1 tsp salt
- 1 cup of brown sugar
- Lemon juice
- 4 large eggs
- 1 cup nuts
- 2 cups of dried fruit
- 1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila (important!)
Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets struck in the bleaterers just pry it loose with adrewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cklups of salt, or something. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or something else - whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to bean off the turner. Finally, place bowl in the recyle bin, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put stove in dishwasher.